Last night I updated my Profile Pic and Cover Photo on Facebook. This seems to be something of a tradition I have formed for myself - of using photos to reflect dates that are significant to me, and the reason behind their significance, whether happy or sad. A typically lazy way of expressing myself :-)
It also seems I have become less hesitant of sharing my sadder moments on as wide a forum as FB - such is life in the age of social media. I do, however, wonder when posting pics or status updates about Dada whether I will be making some people uncomfortable, especially because so many of his friends are now on my Facebook. Does being my FB friend mean they should be subjected to what may be unwelcome reminders of someone they used to know so long ago? For that matter, do my friends, who never knew him - or even of him for a long time - really want to know when the anniversary of his death is each year... do they wonder if I want them to say something to me; is this my way of seeking their attention? I do hope they know me well enough to know that if I need anything from any of them, I will approach them directly. I expect nothing from posting on Facebook... it is just the simplest way for me to remember him and find pictures and reminders of him that I may not have seen in a while. And while every comment or "like" or message I get as a result is touching and special, and shows me that at least some people do like seeing his photos and don't mind being reminded of him, it really does not mean that the converse is true. No one should feel obliged to do anything they don't want to on social media platforms, so I do hope I don't make anyone uncomfortable.
It also seems I have become less hesitant of sharing my sadder moments on as wide a forum as FB - such is life in the age of social media. I do, however, wonder when posting pics or status updates about Dada whether I will be making some people uncomfortable, especially because so many of his friends are now on my Facebook. Does being my FB friend mean they should be subjected to what may be unwelcome reminders of someone they used to know so long ago? For that matter, do my friends, who never knew him - or even of him for a long time - really want to know when the anniversary of his death is each year... do they wonder if I want them to say something to me; is this my way of seeking their attention? I do hope they know me well enough to know that if I need anything from any of them, I will approach them directly. I expect nothing from posting on Facebook... it is just the simplest way for me to remember him and find pictures and reminders of him that I may not have seen in a while. And while every comment or "like" or message I get as a result is touching and special, and shows me that at least some people do like seeing his photos and don't mind being reminded of him, it really does not mean that the converse is true. No one should feel obliged to do anything they don't want to on social media platforms, so I do hope I don't make anyone uncomfortable.
Hmmm so I may be over-analysing the whole thing. Oh well :-) Funnily enough, while this blog is "public", the audience for this is far less than on my Facebook account, so it almost feels like I can express my feelings more "privately" here, not just because of the number of people visiting this site; but also because people who come here are usually actively choosing to do so; and even then they can choose whether to read these posts or not, and it is easier to avoid the blog altogether if they so wish.
So the blog continues to be a special place even though it's not that active at the moment, and this year I have chosen to collate the lovely comments and stories about Aditya that people have so sweetly shared on various posts over the years:
My lovely Purobi Kaki said:
It was wonderful to read about Bozo. I remember him so well during our Dunlop days. Such a lively child, full of exuberance and wit.We miss him too.My lovable Piya (she was so little when Bozo passed away) wrote:
I have never spoken to you about Bozoda since so many years, maybe because sometimes reasons fail you and anything you would say wouldn't add meaning to the already messed up meanings we all have to deal with. And maybe also because I don't have very thought through memories of him. Just passing incidents (the typical Dunlop-y ones with crazy kids around) in glimpses and heaps of stories of the Dunlop days heard from ma and baba!!!But the last time I saw him, when he came to Calcutta, at our place....he was narrating hilarious tales of a trip they had, travelling on tops of buses...if I remember correctly, he was in Rajasthan then.
I have got hazy memories of him. But the pictures and the narratives from baba quite establish the facts that you two were the cutest kids around..
From my Mishty Mou, who is one of my dearest friends:
The last memory I have of seeing Bozo was in Calcutta somewhere in 1992 i think.... Suddenly the memory flashes right in front of my eyes. I remember during our Dunlop days Bozo n you would escort me home after every "ganer class" (singing lessons) with Ashit da.... we used to play a silly game about rescuing the princesses... remember? It was so exciting. Gives me a warm fuzzy feeling now that I think of it. Miss you dearly Mini and love you lots.Deepak Joshi, my brother's classmate and friend in High School (KV Karanja):
Aditya was my classmate and there were 5 of us in the class. Paramjit is a doctor now and I am in touch with her and then Nandu Pattar and Prashant not traceable till now.We all miss Aditya a lot. He would have been very happy had he been here today. I had had some fond memories with him; we use to play table tennis in the classroom and post Paramjit outside to watch for a teacher.
Although even I was very shy in beginning but Aditya was a lovely person and we did go out a movie with him, that was after our board exams. Though my younger brother Satish and Jeetendra Dahiya were frequent visitors to Aditya's home and so their acquaintance with Aditya was a shade better then mine.
Aditya was a very good natured guy he must be studying till wee hours and used to sleep in class as we were few guys; it was nice. In lunch break we would sit and enjoy. Nandu was closer to Aditya though because he knew him from some time.
However how much little experience I had with Aditya is not forgotten. I still talk abut him with Paramjit, my classmate.
He was probably out of this world; a lovely character who was very intelligent and very humble. I wish he would have been around and I am sure he would help anybody for he had a good heart and pure soul. My interaction with him in KV Karanja was good and I still rate him probably as one of my best friends ever. Last when I joined shipping I met him in Karanja and he was very excited for me and then I never heard anything until his bad news
I still love the person he was and feel that all those who care for him should make some efforts to remember him.
Dulali (Upala Sen) from our Dunlop days:
I am not sure Mini if you guys will remember me. But I remember you and Bozo from one summer possibly in the late eighties. I can’t recall now who you guys were visiting and why your parents were not there. We were then living in what was known as the 'Highrise'. And the two of you came over once or twice to borrow Baba's sci fis. And the third time I opened the door for you and silently led you to the bookshelf in the corridor, both of you put the books back exactly where you had taken them out from (I can vouch for it because that was something I never did, and I remember thinking, 'I hope Ma doesn’t get to hear of this.’)Then one night there was a dinner at our place. We were playing hide and seek with Rini-Jhini. Bozo was not playing. He was sitting in one of those uncomfortable white cane chairs we had, holding my two-year-old sister Hia. (She told me later that the dada had asked her “Bhoi korche? Are you feeling scared?”) Possessive elder sister that I was/am I mentally appreciated his two words to my baby sis. When it was my turn to be ‘den’ I found a figure in the closet. But before I 'won' I had to identify the person. I remember Bozo prompting, 'R-I...' And I whooped RINIII. Suddenly Rini was upon Bozo, “That’s cheating,” she accused, hands on hips.
Another time, same trip, there was a drawing competition. I did a purple-blue monstrosity, a done-to-death river scene with boats et al. Bozo did a night scene. I remember he had painted everything black, save the paper-white moon. I remember it as if it was yesterday. I got the first prize --- a box of crayons. Shy as I was I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that his drawing was faaaaar better. But I remember he had the calm assurance of someone who was effortlessly good, knew it. And perhaps because it came to him so naturally there was no trace of arrogance. That was one box of crayons I never treasured. It just never felt right.
The year I heard about Bozo I had just given my ISC and was about to join college. I gave my ISC in 94 so that makes it 14 years.
When I was not living in the Compound, when you guys were in the Estate I had heard of you a lot. Joy-Jeet, Apu-Reshmi, Mini-Bozo… I was yet to get my brattier half, so I gobbled down the tales about these various units very greedily.
I didn’t know your brother or you well at all. And I can’t even touch your grief. But your loss did touch my thoughts then and it remains in my thoughts now. If that makes any sense…
Glad I came across this blog.
Rituparna (Reena) Venkatesh from our Dunlop days:
I remember Bozo and Mini very well. I used to live in Dunlop Sahaganj. Lalita Aunty taught me History in Auxilium Convent for a year. I came across Bozo's blog when I was searching about Dunlop Sahaganj on Google. My dad Sutanu Saha was working in Dunlop Sahaganj. My mom was Gopa. I hope Lalita Aunty would remember me.I am sorry to know about Bozo. I used to come to your house sometimes, my mother sent me to give something to Lalita Aunty. It was the years 1981-82, I was in grade 6-7 then, probably 4 years elder to Bozo. I have a younger brother, Rana, who is 5 years younger to me. He went to school at the English medium school too. He played with Bozo, called him Bozo-da. You guys were there for few years and then moved away again. I remember your mom exactly the way she looks in the black & white photos you posted, with dimples on her cheeks when she smiled. I still tell my kids about her sometimes and how she taught the song, "One man went to mow, went to mow the meadow" to her students at Auxilium Convent, the school beside Bandel church. Your mom used to get the door in her Kaftan when I rang the bell. I have very short but vivid memories of you all.
Pushkar Nath Sen, Aditya's friend from BITS:
I remember Aditya very well. I was senior to him in BITS. We were in the same wing and I have a few cherished memories of Aditya. How I discovered this blog is another story. I am active on facebook, got linked to Murali and recalled about Aditya. Googled his name and the rest is history. It is really commendable that you are doing this and I hope to add to this over the coming days. He will never be forgotten. Aditya was a gem of a person and whoever knew him, loved and respected him. His loss was felt by one and all and we grieved in our own private ways. May his soul rest in peace.he had a unique way of walking. In BITS, we used to wear rubber slippers and whenever he walked past my room, even though my door was closed, I knew it was him from his shuffle. We had a joke about this - if memory serves me right, his sun sign was Taurus (like mine) and we agreed that a Taurean characteristic was that they are a bit stubborn and stubborn people drag their feet when they walk.
I also recall borrowing his cycle on many an occasion to go to connaught for a quick bite and he was ever obliging.PS: I have a 3 yr old son and we have named him Jaiaditya. Coincidence !?!
