Today it's 5th June...and I very well remember the same day 13 years back.It's strange how our memories are.Sometimes we forget things so easily, but I still remember vividly each incident on the said day and what we went through. Of course, it was a loss of a lifetime. We lost a family member and the world lost a great soul.
Those were the days when Bhaiya (our maternal grand-dad, I dont remember who started calling him that, most probably Bozo Dada) was very sick.Our world revolved around him.Ma, Baba, Bon and I were always petrified what will happen next.Each month there were new complications, new doctors, new nurses.But it was nothing what we expected in our dreams would happen on this particular day.
June 5th was not a day unusual. Bon and I were having our summer holidays. Ma was burdened with grading of heaps of answerscripts. She finished it on this day, after series of sleepless nights and went to submit those to the coordinator.Baba, Bon and I were doing the usuals when we received a call from Darimama.We saw that Baba got excited while talking to him and was crying as he kept down the phone. We couldnt believe our ears when Baba said "Bozo is no more". Three of us broke down but soon gathered ourselves because of Ma. Ma was already under too much stress and we couldn't let her know the moment she comes. So when Ma came back after some time,three of us behaved as if nothing had happened. Till today, I think that was one of the most trying moments of my life. It was so difficult to hide our emotions.
After a while, Ma came to know from PishiDimma( Ma's aunt). As you can imagine, Ma just could not believe it.Who can believe that a bright, young boy would leave us forever before he turned 21?We grew up hearing stories about Bozo Dada and Mini Didi from Ma.It was such an irony that Bozo Dada came to visit Bhaiya, after Bhaiya had his first cerebral attack.Within a few months of his visit,he passed away. Bhaiya,though survived many more attacks for another 2 years, didnt know till his last breath, that his favorite grand-child was no more.Bhaiya had suffered a lot due to his illness, but his illness saved him from knowing this harsh truth.
We had met BozoDada the last time in Feb'93, when he came to visit his ailing Bhaiya. Who would ve known that this was the last time we are seeing him.Now, no matter how we are, where we are, it hasnt been a year that we havent been reminded of this day.
I shot a smile into the air, It came to earth I knew not where. Perhaps on someone else's face, In some forgotten, quiet place. - Michael Leunig
Mala, ... thank you... forgive if I don't say anything else?
ReplyDeleteMami
Yes, thank you, Mala. I don't think I've ever talked to you about that day. I don't even remember when exactly I met you guys again after dada died, but it had been a while I think, is that right?
ReplyDeleteI was so busy dealing (or rather not dealing) with my grief, that I really don't think I spared much thought for anyone else at the time, and I am truly sorry about that.
It couldn't have been easy for all of you dealing with Bhaiyya's illness either. And yes, Dada started calling him that, although I have no idea why :). I followed suit, and so did you and Bibi.
Mini didi..dont say sorry...we all needed our time to get over the trauma...and i also dont remember when I met you and Mami the next time...i think after a couple of years...but I do remember we met Darimama in December...
ReplyDeleteDarimama as he is ...didnt share much...and made his trip look exactly same as his earlier Kolkata trips...treated us with food from restaurant as he always used to do...though we protested...didnt want to make a scene in case we hurt him...
Mala, Mini, we see here how selective our memories can be! That was obviously the one family reunion we all would rather have done without.
ReplyDeleteActually, we visited Delhi and Cal soon after - in end-June, or so. That visit is a haze. I must have been in some kind of a stupor. The only two things I remember was (a) the deep regret that Mashi refused to have candles on Chand's birthday cake and (b) my total outrage when Didi brought me a beautiful basket-bouquet of flowers on my birthday. (Poor thing, I really yelled at her!)
Did we drop you off in Ahamedabad first, Mini? I think so, as that was the first clip on my new video camera! And then you fell sick with typhoid and we were so scared.....
That's about all I remember. I don't even remember if you came to Cal with us, though, no, you didn't as you'd already missed out a lot on your course, right?
yeah...i dont remember anything of the trip...i just remember I met Darimama...the memories I have are when Mami and Mini didi came from Bangalore...I dont know when..see I'm getting old...
ReplyDeleteI definitely do not remember going to Cal in 1994. Went to Delhi and then straight to Ahmedabad. Ma, you and Baba came to see me on your way back to Mozambique, which is when I fell sick, so we all went back to Delhi instead.
ReplyDeleteOh and Mala, that was December 1996, I am fairly sure, and Ma and I went to Cal from Madras, after having attended the wedding reception of two friends of Bozo's. I had just come back to India after having spent a year in Zimbabwe.
ReplyDeleteYep, all coming back, now that we're pooling our thoughts..goodgood
ReplyDeleteif I may add here (on behalf of your close friends at IHM)....
ReplyDeletemini, when you got back to a'bad, you were a strong girl. the grief and pain of losing a family member never showed. i remember rafique (our principal) telling us to ensure that you are kept comfortable all the time. and thats what all of us tried doing. if we lagged behind in anyway, we are sorry
Rahul, thanks for that note. I think I was quite determined not to let my grief show, although I am not sure that was a good idea, but it was my pride that kept me going at that stage... I do remember facing a bit of flak from some jerks who thought I wasn't grieving "enough"... but yes, friends like you, Prasanna and Shailendra did understand, and that helped a lot.
ReplyDeleteat the end of the day......some of us always believe, that life has to go on....
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