A Letter From Beira (I am posting this on behalf of my mother, Lalita Deb)
Many of you who knew and loved Bozo never knew what actually happened. You just heard out of the blue one day that he had passed away. That must have been so difficult, and more so because we didn’t bring him back home.
Today is the 5th of June. Every year, around this time, I feel like I’m going mad. Try as I might, I just can’t help it. I begin to remember everything, with every detail starting with how I was counting the days to when the four of us would be together for the first time in about four years. Bozo’s hols from BITS started on the 20th of May that year, 1994 and he and Mini flew out here. Arup and I received them in Harare. I remember how THRILLED we were.
Well, since I AM thinking about it, I thought I’d use this blog (thanks yet again, Mini) to think aloud, as it were…
Arup had for the past six months been planning this trip around Zimbabwe. Hotels and fares were all booked, and we looked forward to a brilliant time together, which we did have. We took the overnight ferry on lake Kariba, and spent a few days on one of the islands, with elephants, hippos and crocs for company. Then we drove down to Vic Falls. Spent a few days there, at Hwang-He National Reserve.
Mini, in the meantime, had us truly worried. She’d developed this little lump in one cheek. So we decided to drive back to Harare. Had her checked out.
I can’t believe Bozo shook the doctor’s hand and then waited outside with a magazine. He was already sick, though we didn’t know that then…
We were so relieved Mini was ok, we all went and saw a movie – that’s what this family does when anything untoward or special happens!
That night, Bozo had a fever. Said he’d caught cold and would be ok with a couple of Dispirins.
The next day, Saturday the 28th, we started back for Beira. We stayed the night at Drifter’s in Mutare. When Bozo got high fever again, I was alarmed but he still just insisted on having a couple of Crocins and going to bed. We should have gone back to Harare then. We know that now and Arup and I will forever blame ourselves for not doing it. It's a terrible burden to live with ...
The next day he was fine and we carried on and reached home on Sunday evening. He again ran a high fever and I was convinced it was Malaria.
Monday morning, they did a test. It came out negative. Monday night, the fever and shivering again. Tuesday morning, another test said negative to Malaria. Tuesday night, the fever and shivering again. I got some malaria tablets out. Had them in my hand as I phoned the doctor. No, he said don’t do it. Come back for another test tomorrow.
Next morning, the doctor looked at him and said it was hepatitis. We were actually relieved! Ok, he’d miss a semester from uni, but with rest and a strict diet, he’d be ok. (Only later did we learn that when malaria gets really bad, it causes hepatitis.)
The doctor ordered some tests. Everything began working against us then. The tests could not be done in Beira hospital, so we’d have to go to the Italian medical centre (they had one for their peace-keeping forces then). They had an inspection coming up, so could not do the tests till Friday. Even the Indian doctor with the Indian peace-keeping forces was on leave...
Anyway, we had the tests done on the Friday, by which time Bozo had become really sick. The results came in on Saturday, with advice for him to be hospitalized. Onset of renal failure, it said.
Of course, Beira hospital did not have the necessary equipment, so we chartered a plane and flew him to Harare the same day. He was admitted to Avenue’s Clinic. None of the doctors or nurses gave any indication as to how sick he was, so we went home, relieved that he was in good hands and would be ok.
Six o’clock next morning, we got a call from the hospital that we should get there soon. When we reached, he was already in a coma. They seemed to be doing what they could, but his organs began to fail one by one. In the end, his heart stopped. At 1330 hours, the doctors called us in and told us. He had died at 1320.
I shot a smile into the air, It came to earth I knew not where. Perhaps on someone else's face, In some forgotten, quiet place. - Michael Leunig
Ma - I actually think I remember that you were quite worried when you came back from the hospital on June 4th; in fact you had had a bad feeling that entire trip, but none of us (including Dada) took you seriously.
ReplyDeleteThe next morning, we were at the hospital when the doctor came up to us and told us that Dada was stabilised for the time being and that he would come and check up on him a bit later. But within 5 minutes he was paged back up and we saw him come out of the elevator and rush back to the ICU. It seemed too dramatic to be real and I just couldn't believe this was happening.
When they called us in ten minutes later, I didn't go into his room with you. Even then, as I sat there alone, I thought everyone was over-reacting. This was Dada, healthy and strong; what could possibly happen to him. And then I heard you and Baba crying.
I never got to see that doctor, I think. I kept going to the loo. Every 5 minutes or so. The last time I came out, Ba told me his heart had stopped...
ReplyDeleteAnd, I thought I'd kept my (then seemingly silly) premonitions from you! But you don't miss a trick, do you?
I remember we were still in Harare, and had just come out from watching a movie. Have no idea WHAT we had watched, but as we were waiting to cross the road, you suddenly grabbed my hand VERY firmly. HOW did you guess I was contemplating throwing myself in front of that bus?!! Well, I doubt if I'd've done it, I was just thinking it ... you were not s'posed to know!
Oh, I just remembered! I did see the doctor - young chappie - coming up, taking the stairs two, three steps at a time, not waiting for the lift. And then, a few minutes later, Dr. Raju came out of the lift and went in, avoiding our eyes. I knew then.
ReplyDeleteGosh, Mini, the if-onlies kill me everytime I think of it. Ba too ...
Dont think of the if-onlies...Mami...see our lives are nothing but if-onlies...these are happening everyday with us...right?we always question ourselves..ooh i shouldve done that...this would have been the right decision, but given all the circumstances at that time..we do what we feel best...this was not your or Darimama's fault...i know..now you have nothing else to do but regret...but just think about it...none of you thought...that Bozo dada had such a life threatening disease?...who would've?We have to agree that there are so many things which we cant control...
ReplyDeleteYes, Mala, you're right, thanks! If-onlies, begone, or Mala regae jaabe!
ReplyDeleteLove you...
vidya sutar kv karnaja
ReplyDeletevidsan02@hotmail.com
hi...i just chanced upon this blog. actually i have named my son adityadeb and tomorrow he is turning one. i just did a random google search with adityadeb and found this blog. my little adityadeb can not even walk properly yet...and i can not imagine a life without him. i cannot really share you grief...probably cannot even understand. i can only say that you are very very brave....
ReplyDeletedeepabali sen bharati
delhi
Hi Deepabali... thank you for your comment. Adityadeb is a great name :)
ReplyDeleteI went to BITS with aditya in the same batch. His loss still hurts us all who knew him on campus.
ReplyDelete@Sivakumar - it's always good to hear from my brother's batchmates thanks. Hope all is well with you. Mini
ReplyDeleteMini, its very strange that I thought of searching the web for my dear friend Aditya Deb today..don't really know why I remembered him today after almost 18 years...but certainly this is not the first time that I remember him. He was in the room right next to me in BITS in our first year and was a very dear friend of mine.When I heard about his news many years back, I was quite shocked but did not even have the basic infrastructure in hand to find out what happened...when I read your blog on 'what happened' it still sent a chill down my spine. I have pages and pages to say about him but there is one most unforgettable incident that I would like to share....We had a computer course and I think the language was 'Pascal'. The night before we had our first test, Aditya came to my room and said- I give you one hour - teach me this thing....I had studied this thing in school for 2 years and this was probably the only subject where I had an ability to teach this brilliant guy. He had no clue about what this language was - he did not know how to write a single line of code...I explained to my best on what I could and he would grasp even faster than I explained...However I always had a doubt on whether this guy actually understood all that I had downloaded in about 1.5 years based on my 2 years in depth understanding of this computer language. Next day he wrote the test, came back and said 'thank you' - I managed to answer...Well, the real shock came when we got the results. While I had scored a fairly high 17 on 20, our man Aditya who leearnt the basics from me only the previous night had scored 20 on 20 !!!. That day I realised that this guy was so gifted and naturally brilliant. I still cant digest that he is not with us..he would have been among the most successful BITSians of our batch if he was around..how I wish he was still around ..\
ReplyDeleteHi Praveen,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment and for sharing that story :-) It is always good to hear from his friends.
If you have any photos of him, do let me know... would love to see them.
Where are you based? I live in Melbourne.